a baby and the changing of plans

I think I'm finally starting to believe it. For months now, even while suffering from horrible morning sickness, I just couldn't quite believe it. Not that I wasn't excited or happy about it, because I am extremely excited and happy, a little nervous of course, but I just couldn't seem to get it into my head that all this was really happening. Brian and I are going to be parents! I'm going to be a mom, and he's going to be a dad! It's crazy! It's what I've wanted more than anything since I was a tiny little girl taking care of my baby dolls and now it's happening in real life!

In my defense, the good news came unexpectedly, so I've probably just been in shock for the last few months. Haha! Just a week or two before the news, Brian and I had decided that we felt like it was about time to start our family and that in the next year or so that would be our goal. But it turns out, we were just a little behind on God's plan. Haha.

We actually found out on April Fool's day. I was upstairs watching General Conference (Brian was downstairs watching because we hadn't been getting along too well; I'd been a bit moody... haha). I couldn't really focus on the speaker because I was still mad about something Brian and I had argued about earlier (funny, I have no idea what it was now), and started to wonder what was wrong with me (realizing I was probably being the unreasonable one). It was then that I noticed the pregnancy tests sitting on my dresser (why I had pregnancy tests sitting on my dresser is part of a much longer story, haha). I knew I was late, but that's not unusual for me, so I almost dismissed the silly thought of actually using one. But then I took into account some other symptoms I had, and decided 'what the heck, at least I'll know for sure if it's just the usual PMS or not.' 

When I saw those 2 pink lines, my heart started racing and I quickly read the instructions again to make sure I was reading it correctly. POSITIVE! What?! I immediately ran to the top of the stairs and told Brian to come upstairs and tried to keep my voice as calm as possible. He thought I just wanted to talk about what we'd argued about earlier, so he wasn't in a huge hurry. All the while I'm trying not to freak out. I led him into the bathroom and all I could do was point at the test sitting on the counter. And then I heard Brian say, "What does that mean? Does that mean what I think it means??" And then he gave me a big huge hug. 

After confirming the positive result with another brand of pregnancy test, it started to sink in a little, though we were both still pretty shocked.

I've always thought it would be funny to announce a real pregnancy on April Fool's day since so many people pretend to be pregnant that day... So after we'd calmed down a bit, that's what we decided to do. We called my parents, neither of which realized it was April Fool's day until I brought it up, then reassured them this wasn't a joke. Brian's parents were a little bit more skeptical and told us it better not be an April Fool's joke... haha.  It took a lot more convincing to get them to believe us than it did my parents, but they were just as excited. 

After that I had about a week of pregnancy bliss (minus a few emotional breakdowns, but my husband managed to console me and comfort me through those. I Love him). But that bliss wasn't going to last for long. Morning sickness kind of snuck up on me. It was just me feeling a little queasy if I forgot to eat at first, then it was I can't eat anything that smells like "that"... and then finally to I can't keep any kind of food in my stomach. 

Pretty soon it became too much for me to handle. After a priesthood blessing, not being able to get a hold of the doctor's office because it was too early in the morning,  and then passing out in the kitchen trying to get ready for work (Brian happened to be right there next to me and caught me, pretty sure it scared him to death) we ended up in the urgent care. They prescribed me medication to help with the nausea. Thank heavens for modern medicine! It didn't take it away completely, I was still pretty nauseous all day, every day, but it made it manageable, and made it a lot easier to keep food down, and I was still able to go to work!

I still got discouraged, though. Especially when we had my first ultrasound appointment and discovered I was actually 2 weeks earlier along than they originally thought. I felt like the morning sickness was never going to end! But it did. I'm finally starting to feel better. I'm still overly emotional and cry more than I'd like to admit, and suddenly I have headaches and heartburn all the time... but over all, now that the morning sickness is all but gone, I'm starting to truly enjoy the miracle that's happening inside me!

{Just a side note about being 2 weeks earlier along: that means we found out I was pregnant when I was just a little more than 4 weeks along, and I was able to stop taking a medication that could have been harmful to my baby even sooner than I thought I had! I'm so grateful I followed the thought to take a pregnancy test, even when it seemed so ridiculous! Tender mercy!}

Seeing our baby and being able to hear the heartbeat for the first time was... I don't really have words for it. Magic? Something close to that. :) And hearing the heartbeat a second time at my second appointment was seriously so comforting. And I'm pretty sure that's when I started to believe that this is all really happening! I'm going to be a mom!

On to the changing of plans: As we weren't quite expecting a baby so soon, financially speaking, we've had to take a lot of things into consideration and make some sacrifices and change some of our plans. First, Brian decided to get a second job. He was able to get a job at SelectHealth which he LOVES, and it truly is a huge blessing that he got a job there. He's still working at the theatre as well, so he's working 2 full time jobs right now to get us more financially stable for when I can't work at Hobby Lobby anymore. This means I don't get to see him very much, but I'm SO grateful he's willing to work so hard to provide for our family! We also decided that moving back into an apartment that is cheaper and a bit smaller than the townhome we're living in now is probably for the best so that I can stay home with our baby (even though we moved here so we'd have room to grow, our bank account hasn't grown at the same rate as our family, haha). We're planning on moving at the beginning of September. Maybe sooner if our landlord will let us out of our lease. We'll most likely be moving to Herriman. Apartments are cheap there because it's kind of far away from everything, but I like that aspect of it. Haha. We've always felt like we'd end up in Herriman anyway, so this is just one step closer for us really.

And that's really all I've got for now. We find out if we're having a boy or a girl on July 5th (assuming baby cooperates) so I'm sure I'll have more to say then.