When we went in for the ultrasound, I remember saying a quick prayer in my mind that our baby would let us see who he or she was. (I knew very well if baby didn't want us to know, baby wouldn't let us see), and I also added in that if our baby was, in fact, a boy, that I wouldn't be disappointed. Silly, but I'm telling you, the guilt from wanting a girl so much had built up significantly by that point.
The ultrasound tech began taking measurements and all that stuff, and I loved seeing our little baby moving around in there. The sound of that heartbeat was magic once again, and it was neat to see our baby looking like a baby instead of a little bean. And then, it was time. Time for us to find out who our little baby was.
I remember my heart started to beat a little faster as the ultrasound tech tried to get a good look. Baby was very modest and didn't want to show us at first. Just what I'd been worried about. She kept crossing her legs like this:
I remember saying something like, "This is what I was afraid of." But, never fear, our stubborn little baby did finally let us know who she was.
I remember being flooded with a mixture of relief, pure joy and excitement, and I'm pretty sure I exclaimed, "It's a girl!" repeating the ultrasound tech's words adding in my own emotions to the phrase. Now, I can't speak for Brian, but I knew that he was hoping for a girl as well, so I was sure he was feeling the same kinds of emotions that I was. I remember looking over at him with a big smile on my face and seeing his smile in return and just loving him more than ever in that moment.
After our appointment as we pulled into our driveway, Brian and I paused for a minute before getting out to confirm her name. We already knew her name, but I think we just wanted to voice it and make sure we both were still sure. Clara Elizabeth. Yep. That was still her name. Our sweet little Clara.
Side note: We had the name "Clara" picked out for our first daughter for quite awhile (I'm talking at least a couple of years or so)... and we originally planned on giving her my middle name for hers as well. For some reason, even before we found out we were having a girl, it started bothering me and I started playing around with different middle names for her in my head. (See what I mean, I was totally obsessed with having a girl, haha) And at some point I began to consider "Elizabeth". It's a family name. My Sister's middle name is Elizabeth- she goes by that name, and she was given that name for my Grandma's Grandma (at least that's what I remember from when they gave her that name, but my memory might be a little off... either way, my grandma's grandma was, indeed, named Elizabeth, and for some reason I feel drawn to her. Strange, now that I think of it, because I don't actually know much about her... hmm... I think I'm going to go learn... ANYWAY...) I don't know when it was, but a few weeks before our ultrasound appointment, as I was daydreaming about having a baby girl, I had an emotional/spiritual moment as I imagined naming our daughter Clara Elizabeth, and say what you will about it, but for some reason it was important for our Clara to have Elizabeth as her middle name. I felt it. It took a little convincing for Brian, because Clara Elizabeth didn't quite roll off the tongue the same way as the name we originally had in mind, but in the end, he agreed. Side note to the side note: Clara is the name of Brian's Grandpa's Grandma. So, "Clara Elizabeth" ties her to both sides. I like that. :)
The rest of Pregnancy was not my favorite. Actually, just being pregnant is not my favorite. I know there are women out there who just love it. I'm not one of them. Overall, being pregnant is uncomfortable. I hate being uncomfortable. Comfort is a big deal for me. So, yeah. Not my favorite. I did enjoy feeling my little girl move around until the end when she'd keep me awake at night, but honestly, beyond that I really just couldn't find much to enjoy about being pregnant. I could go on and on about the many complaints I had while I was pregnant, but I'm thinking it wouldn't be wise, as I do want to have another baby at some point. (I wasn't quite sure about more kids while I was pregnant and even for a few weeks after Clara was born, haha).
I didn't take very many "belly" pictures while I was pregnant- something I actually kind of regret a little- especially right before Clara was born- when that time came though, things got a little crazy and I didn't even think about it. But, here I am when I was 27 weeks:
I never did get that huge or anything. In fact, no one would believe how far along I was a lot of the time. I guess that was good. I felt like a whale, but whatevs.
Significant things that happened in the months before Clara was born:
* We moved to a little 2 bedroom apartment in Riverton, starting over in a new home for the 4th time in our then 2 1/2 years of marriage. I hate moving.
* Brian and I were called to teach the 9-year-olds in primary in our new ward - Being a primary teacher with my husband had been a calling I'd been dreaming of for forever- it didn't disappoint. :)
* I quit my job at Hobby Lobby - I could tell an elaborate story about this, but I'll just say that in the end it was bittersweet to leave. As much as I hated working there, I actually loved it in some ways too, and I learned a lot about myself and just people in general (good and bad, haha).
*We went on a vacation with my family to Yellowstone and Jackson Hole and Lava Hot Springs.
* I took Brian dinner almost every day after I didn't work anymore- since he was working two jobs and I hardly ever saw him. I lived for those 30 minutes every night that I had with him.
* Found out that Brian would have 7 weeks of paid time off through FMLA from one of his jobs after Clara was born. Meaning through the holidays and those first few weeks of having a new baby, he'd be able to come home to us at night. (It was wonderful news, and those weeks he only had to work one job were wonderful)
Cravings I had:
Near the beginning of my pregnancy (after morning sickness faded) I craved tomatoes and corn- vegetables in general, but tomatoes and corn were the most frequent. I also craved spaghetti, but I feel it was more for the tomato in the spaghetti sauce, haha.
For the last half of my pregnancy I craved anything and everything sweet. Fruit, but mostly chocolate, ice-cream, etc. This was strange to me, because I had never really had a sweet tooth before- I liked more savory/salty foods over sweet. I was hoping this new liking to sweets would go away after I was done being pregnant, but unfortunately, I still find myself wanting chocolate all the time. I also craved water. Cold water. ALL. THE. TIME. I seriously drank so much water. I loved it so much. It was so satisfying. Haha! That was a craving I actually hoped would stick around because it made it so easy to stay hydrated. Unfortunately, water is not quite as satisfying as it was before and I find myself struggling to make sure I drink enough water, but oh well.
Well, this post has taken me the better part of my day to write- I have a baby who takes up a lot of my time and attention- and I'm getting tired. I think I'll have to split this post into two parts. I'll have to write about her birth and such another day. Tune in next time for that and some cute pictures of our sweet little Clara.
It's wonderful that you are writing these memories now so down the road you will have this for Clara to read. ♥
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